Day 90

I have not forgotten about my blog, the last month has just been a crazy whirlwind of finals, moving, moving again and starting new jobs that I simply have not had the time to sit down and write! The last few weeks my mantra has been about the same every time I run--finish strong.  I had been dragging for awhile, thinking that this seemed impossible.  My negativity showed in my run last week where it took me 1 hour and 50 minutes to run 10 miles when my goal was 11 but I simply couldn't do it.  Today I ran 12 miles in 1 hour and 57 minutes, a great improvement from last week and a mental confirmation that I can do this.

Todays run was dedicated to my number one fan and the human that I have literally known the longest in my entire life, my Mom.  I think that running for her today was what made me able to run all 12 miles with each mile being under 10 minutes.

I have heard the story of my untimely birth time and time again from countless relatives, but had never really put a ton of thought into what it was really like for her to go through.  I can't imagine carrying the promise of a new life for 7 months and then not knowing for the last part of pregnancy what my child was going to be like all while being bedridden.  That's terrifying.  By some miracle everything was ok and I am here today thanks to my mothers doctors and her strength.

At one point in my run I tried to think back to my earliest memory of my mom.  If you have never tried to do that, do it. Thinking back that far is interesting and I have no idea how old I was in the memories that I brought up, but I remember sitting on the couch with pillow and pink bear and mom reading the book "Are you my mother?" to me in all the different voices.  I remember playing on the little tikes slide outside under a tree that used to be where the gazebo is now.  I remembered mom sewing me a dress with little lambs all over it and lace on the pockets, and I remember her later then patching all the holes I  put in it accidentally while riding a tricycle.  I remember mom taking my picture outside while using a little plastic watering can to water flowers and how I could not use the watering can right and it kept coming out the top.  I remember laying in a gray stroller next to her on the 4th of July watching fireworks explode in the sky. I remember holding on to moms hand while our neighbor dropped off her little girl who was crying because she did not want her mom to leave, and by the end of her visit Carissa and I were great friends.  I remember going to Hobby Lobby with her and her buying me crafts to create everything and anything because that is what I loved to do.  I remember beading with her.  I remember mom spending countless hours on making me birthday cupcakes with adorable little flies on them wearing party hats to match the awesome piggy cake she made me, and then the flies accidentally melted by the time of my party due to storing them in the hot tub room and then they were piggy poop cupcakes.  I remember going to the store in Holdrege with her so she could shop for new beanie babies because they were going to make her rich in the future.  I remember going to Island Oasis, to Pioneers Park, to Breckenridge, to the Capitol building, on picnics and on fishing trips with her my sister and our close friends the Freeds. I remember how her and dad would alternate tucking me in to bed at night.  I remember making homemade ice cream with her.  I remember her playing with playdoh with me and cecelia at the kitchen table.

There are so many more memories, I could create a book.  She never missed a volleyball game, a basketball game, a dance recital, a gymnastics meet, a track meet, a tennis tournament.  Even when I was in 5th grade at R-4 and was completely terrible at what I was trying to do. I know that everyone says this about their mom, but my mom is truly the best mom out there and I could not have been more blessed by getting to be her daughter.